talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
