I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
