May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
