i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
