I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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