I must be too annoying 4 u.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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