I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
