just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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