im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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