hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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