I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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