So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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