she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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