She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
