just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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