I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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