Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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