I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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