you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
