the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
