let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
