drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
