hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
