she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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