the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
