summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
