I want to make a zoo with you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
only you would photoshop your dick
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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