I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
