I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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