I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
