Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
