I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
