Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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