i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
