I think i peed on brittanys purse
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
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Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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