Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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