Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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