I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
