WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
