pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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