Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
