she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
