The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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