we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
