I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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