Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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