Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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