he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
