I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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