we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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