PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
