You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
