The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
