after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got inside last night via doggy door
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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