Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
