fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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