Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
