I just pynch a tree in the face
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize