I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
