I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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