we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
