Well douche your snatch and let's go!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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